Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
