My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
