and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
