i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
