I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
