if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
