Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
