Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
