it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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