So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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