so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
