One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
