come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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