i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
