my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
