ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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