i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
