as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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