i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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