On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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