well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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