do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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