Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
