so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
ok first of all what the fuck
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
