I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
