Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
