Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
