Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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