didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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