Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
