fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
this will be a night to untag.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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