I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
