i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this just has baby written all over it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
