you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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