you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
