she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she told me i tasted like america
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
