I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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