Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
