Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
