My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
