So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
