im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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