I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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