Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
