It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
