I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
