She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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