Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
