White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
