I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i now understand why vodka
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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