Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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