I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
