it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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