I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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