some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize