The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
